Mystery Trip!

This past week, Chicago Public Schools have been on spring break. Because I like taking advantage of days without school, I took some of the kids from youth group on a Mystery Trip around Chicago! I had fun - it was a really good chance to just hang out with them, and just as important, it gave them a chance to hang out with each other. They haven’t done that as much as they always used to, so it excites me when they do, especially with it’s Jr. and Sr. High together.

We started the day going to a pottery studio, where we spent a couple hours painting pottery that will then be fired in a kiln, so we can actually use it. Interesting, creative, and a chance for them to sit around and talk while keeping their hands busy.

After that, we had lunch at a diner-like place downtown, which my wife joined us for. And then, dessert was free samples at the Hershey store.

In the afternoon, I gave them a couple of options, but we basically just played games outside of the Field Museum all afternoon. Finally, we ended the day by joining a group from our church at the anti-war rally downtown, marking the anniversary of the start of the Iraq war. We didn’t stay for too long, but it was good for them to see first-hand what several in our congregation are actively involved in.

Anyway, some pictures from me:

And, some photos by one of my favorite new photographers, Abina:

Polaroids

We went to Salvation Army today, looking for some stuff for our new apartment.  While looking around, I came across an older polaroid camera.  You know, those cameras where you take the picture, and the film comes out the front and develops before your eyes?

It was cheap, and the camera still work.  I am very, very excited.

Too bad their going to stop making film for it next year… doh.

Review and Preview

Relieving - although now a lot of my frantic searching earlier this week turned out to be unnecessary, it looks like we’ll be able to take our Sr. High retreat at the camp we’d originally planned on.

Saddening - this Sunday was supposed to be the youth group’s first service night at our new location, but some snags showed up in the planning, and we couldn’t set it up quite yet.  The game we’re doing instead should still be fun, though.

Encouraging - interest by a company for headshots for their entire office.  It might not go through, but it’s still exciting to even have prospects of “big” photography jobs.

Tiring - this week.  Lots of anxiety over big things to come.  Again, not having to worry about a SH retreat location is now a huge relief.

Exciting - thinking about things like our new apartment in a couple of weeks, hanging out with kids over their spring break next week, looking into licencing  to be more “official” in this job, and writing a proposal to describe what I would do and dream of doing if I moved up to full-time.

Anxiousness - still lots to plan.

Anticipation - Tuesday I’m taking a day-retreat at a Benedictine monastery down on the south side (unfortunately, I couldn’t find a Franciscan one… oh well!).  I’m looking forward to some time alone, with God, without having to worry about everything I have to do, and to spend more time focusing on me and Him.

A Little Bite of Hopelessness

Today wasn’t too bad of a day.  I got some work done this morning, and am easily putting in to get close to full-time this week (I’m technically a “part-time” youth pastor, whatever that is), though there’s still tons of stuff coming up, and never time to get ready for it.

I had a good chance to think some about actually being licensed as a pastor, now that I’ve been here a few months, with the possible goal of ordination.

Prayers during lunch were short but sweet.

We had a meeting before the after school program (and after), where we had some good conversation about discipline and how we interact with the kids.  I don’t know that everyone was satisfied, but we came up with something to try, and it let us discuss some issues that hadn’t been addressed.

Our day with the jr. high kids was actually GOOD today.  Relatively speaking, of course… maybe that’s just a sign of our lowered expectations.  Still, they mostly cooperated, we had some fun with them, and they figured out that the quickest way to get through the Bible study into the games was by settling and participating.  That’s progress.

I had a chance to go on a short walk to the school with one of the jr. high kids in the program, a rare moment to hang out one-on-one without it being for discipline.  Short, sweet, and good.

We found out our absent kid was suspended from school, and for good reason.  We talked to him on the phone, he sounded repentant, and the program coordinator let him come on our reward trip as long as he would talk about what happened when he got back.  That’s a good thing, I think.

Before the potluck (which I’ve started going to regularly), I was able to talk with a few of the early kids.  Again, nothing significant, but still encouraging since I’m just getting to know this new group.

Rough interactions with one of the kids at potluck, same frustrating kid as last week.  He got a good talking to from an adult who knows him better (for how he acts to adults in general, not just me), so I pray things will improve.

Good time at potluck, hanging out with some of my youth group kids.

Found out that one of my youth group kids is into photography a lot more than I realized… that’s exciting.  I like contact points with kids that come naturally to me.

Some high schoolers came in during the potluck.  It was encouraging when I knew and could converse with some that I knew from Howard Area, and when others I didn’t remember still recognized me from helping out there (which, by the way, I’ve stopped working at for the time being… though these interactions sometimes make me regret it).

After potluck, got to play games with several of the kids before they had the leave.  Also a good place for me to get to know some of them.

All in all, today was a good day.  Some good work, and lots of positive and encouraging interactions with kids… nothing huge, but small steps that mean a lot in the long run.

Then, after potluck, my wife and I were walking home, and saw a few teens, including at least one high schooler from potluck, with their legs spread, palms flat on the front hood of a police car.  They weren’t arrested, thankfully, but it still makes one wonder… how can we possibly compete with this screwed up world?

And with something as simple as that, all my little encouragements built up during the day turned to ash, and it all seemed worthless.

If I wasn’t confident that one day Jesus will make sense out of all this crap, there really wouldn’t be anything keeping me here to care.  And even that’s tough some days.

Battles

So apparently, there was a decent-sized fight yesterday at our nearby elementary school. Unfortunately, it involved some of the kids from our after-school program. Worse, they were on opposite sides.

Some of them came to one of our leaders today, however, and said they wanted to talk about it. It was really encouraging, and she sat down with 5 of the girls to try and sort things out. They broke for snack, then 4 of them continued with the other leader and me.

I’m really not sure what came of it, either. We kept trying to move them past the point of laying blame and shouting about who did what, but they wanted to stay on that topic. I can’t say I blame them… it’s so much easier to get caught up in blaming each other, instead of being the mature one and working towards a solution.  Too bad only one of them was willing to take that step.

So, I don’t know what really came of it.  The other leader and I learned a lot about what happened, and it was great experience for us, having not done mediation with anything as serious as our kids coming to blows with each other.  I think some of the things we talked about sunk in for a couple of them, but I can only pray they’ll remember it the next time around.  But how are we supposed to teach these kids a better way to deal with conflict when their entire culture, their friends, probably their parents, and even the security guard as the school is telling them to deal with it by hitting back?

Relationships - One small step at a time

Today, as I left the church after the after school program, I noticed a group of teen guys standing on the corner I would have to walk by.  It’s always a bit intimidating, even when they aren’t really doing anything.

“What sort of mood are they in?”

“What if they’re just looking for an excuse to start something?”

“Is it worth taking a longer route to make sure nothing happens?”

These questions and fears really aren’t fair, and I’m certainly ashamed when they run through my mind.  As much as I try to fight it, I am still as prejudiced as anyone.

More important, however, is that I don’t give in to my fears and assumptions.  Since living here, I don’t think I’ve ever gone out of my way to avoid a black guys.

Today was an especially good day for me for me to stand by that.  As I approached the crowd, the first guy I saw was someone I’d known from Howard Area Community Center, and just recently saw him at our church’s potluck last week (remember the influx of area youth we’ve been having?).  I think making that connection between me volunteering at HACC and working at my church helped a lot, because I already knew him when he came in.

With that relationship in place, superficial though it may be, I was glad that he gave me a very friendly greeting, and while I didn’t have long to chat, we took the time to talk a little bit about his hunt for a job,  and see if he was coming to potluck again.  More significant was that he had no problem chatting with me in front of all his friends.

A small step, but a connection and gesture that I really appreciate.   It’s a good day.

I’m a model!

Well, not really. But I was for a while on Saturday.

Sorry I haven’t written in awhile, by the way… I’ve been doing a lot of questioning, processing, and contemplating over some stuff these past few weeks, and haven’t really felt like I’ve been at much of a point to write about it. I will soon, though.

Anyway, modeling. The wife and I went out to Downer’s Grove this past Saturday to meet with several other Strobists (adherents to www.strobist.com), a select group of photographers from around Chicago. We met in a big office building, set up several backdrops and a whole bunch of lights, played with each other’s gear, and got to work with some really cool models. It was a fun day. Towards the beginning, though, I ended up subbing in as a model for about an hour while the actual model (who was far more attractive, by the way) was changing outfits and getting her make-up touched up. It was one of the rare occurrences where I was in front of the camera, while my wife was the one taking the pictures.

Anyway, here are some of the results from this weekend.

Eva:

Ivy:

And, of course, me!  Since I obviously didn’t take these, click on the image to check out the awesome photographers who are responsible for them.

I forgot to bring out my famous “Blue Steel” look…

I think this young lady was probably my favorite photographer present… nice camera, too.

And lastly, this is an image that I helped create and set-up, although I didn’t actually take the picture myself.  If you’ve ever wondered what can happen when a toilet goes toxic, check out the image HERE.

Chau!

 

At the Risk of Sounding Stupid…

I got pissed with one of our after-school junior highers today.  Not at him, just with him and what he was doing.  If that makes any sense.

We had a reward day today with the 6 of them, and took them sledding on a big hill in Evanston, then ate at Steak & Shake afterwards.  It was a lot of fun!

The problem wasn’t until driving home, when one of the kids in the 2nd car was throwing gang signs out the window.   The driver couldn’t see, but the guys in my car certainly could.  He was mostly doing it just for fun, or to be “cool”, I don’t know.  Pretty sure he’s not really involved in anything like that - honestly, that upset me even more.

Now, I’m well aware that gangs have a significant presence in our neighborhood, and I know that a lot of youth culture, particularly in the inner-city, tends to look up to that hard-core “gangsta” image.  I know that our kids in the program still like to reflect some of that street culture.  But seeing how well he was signing, something just went off inside me.  These aren’t regular neighborhood kids.  They aren’t the high schoolers I work with at Howard Area’s drop in center.  These are our kids, dammit, and they can’t be into that kind of crap!

I had to drop my group of kids off at the library, but, by God’s grace, I was fortunate enough to make it back to the church before the kids in the other car had left (they were hiding in a room with the lights off, go figure.  Weirdos.).   On the drive back, I definitely had time to come up with a great short speech I was going to use to confront this kid.  Stuff about him being better than that, don’t be persuaded by that crap, don’t even pretend it’s cool, he can do a lot with his life, while messing with gangs could just as easily get him killed or in jail.

Energized by my disappointment, anger, and the fact that I felt I had an awesome speech to give him, I called to him to come back before he got out the door.  I straight up asked him what was up with the gang signs… and, yeah, my “speech” basically flopped.  Halfway through I forgot what I was going to say, and how I was going to say it, and couldn’t think on the spot how to translate the concern in my mind into words in my mouth.   I’m pretty sure I ended with “gangs suck” before telling him to go home.  This conversation may not be memorable for the reasons that I’d originally hoped….

Despite my severe drop in pride, I’m praying that a couple things got through to him.  I was clearly emphatic about what I was saying, which they don’t see from me a lot.  From the beginning I stressed that he was better than that, and should be above that.  And, when he tried to apologize, I think I made it clear that this was about him and his future, not about him being bad during our program.

Either way, I’m hoping that God was able to use some of what I said before my “planned” speech emphasized how dumb I probably sounded.  Oh well.

Running and supervising an after school program?  Pretty easy, for the most part.  Trying to be a person that can, and does, speak into another person’s life and call them to something better?  I’m definitely still pretty clueless.

Spanish Classes, and more headshots

Tonight, I started taking Spanish classes again. After two years in high school, and another year and a half in college, I still was never actually able to converse in it until I spent a summer in Honduras. I came back, excited that I’d learned something and was vaguely competent in the language.

Then, due to lack of usage, I proceeded to lose my language skills over the next few years. Doh.

So, since it’s a useful language to speak when ministering in the city, I’m taking classes again. Tonight’s class was pretty great - I’m in level 2 class, just to refresh what I’ve learned… and I’m one of only 2 students in the class. The other student and I have a lot in common, - he’s a coordinator for a community non-profit and works with youth, and grew up very close to me in Indiana.

More importantly, I spent an hour and forty-five minutes in class tonight, with my Argentine teacher speaking mostly Spanish, and I managed to follow the vast majority of everything she said. I learned, remember things, and actually felt confident enough to use what I had. I’m looking forward to the rest of this class.

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On another note, here are some headshots I’ve done in the past few weeks. Plus, I finally updated my photography website today. Huzzah for a busier photo season!

7-11

I was walking home tonight, after borrowing a wrench from a friend (don’t drop your jewelry down the drain, it’s a hassle).  I was thirsty, and since my house is fresh out of the ever-important, life giving Mountain Dew, I stopped at a 7-11 to get some.

The first thing I noticed as I approached the building was a group of 3 young black men just inside the door.  I recognized one of them (from the HS after school program, or just from the neighborhood, I don’t know), but was just generally suspicious of the way they were hanging around the door.

I went inside, got my stuff, and just tried to keep a general sense of what they were doing while I was there.  As I moved up to the counter, though, I saw that one of their friends had just finished warming up food he’d purchased, and met his friends at the door.  They went outside after that.

I also noticed another guy in the store who kept giving the group suspicious, sideways glances.  How sad, I thought, that these young black men are constantly stereotyped, with people always worrying about “what they’re up to.”  I can’t imagine how it would feel to know that everyone in a store would always view you with suspicion.

And then I remembered, I was giving those looks, too.